A Modern Day Mary & Martha Story
I met my beautiful Savior and Lord on January 15, 1985. At that time, I'm a wife, a mother raising two girls, a career with Air Canada on hold, and simply being a woman, there are always opportunities to act in a "role." Before I met Christ, I often felt like a 'desperate housewife' needing something greater than myself. Exhausted from the hopeless dictates of my circumstances I was desperate for change but the world solutions often came up empty. In many ways I felt like a 'prodigal', with a desire to return to the God of my childhood. One day I cried out to my 'invisible' God with a request and made a plea for help. I was filled with awe by His willingness to prove to me that He was listening and answered my prayer in a miraculous way!
Following this experience, and a year later, despite having one prayer answered, little did I expect to find a one-of-a-kind gathering of modern day disciples who made Him [Jesus] plain as day. Meeting Jesus personally, I experienced how much He was perfectly in love with me, and relentless in pursuing my heart in that in-between place between law and grace. His presence felt like waves of 'liquid love' flowing over me.
Grace came to set me free from being caught in an endless cycle of performance and behavior that satisfied my addiction for approval but left me feeling unfulfilled. As long as I acted right, I was gaining the approval I thought I needed; sadly, it was not for the real me. It was for the person I fabricated; so instead of feeling reassured, I felt ashamed. I had raised a protective “shield” to an identity laced with attraction and abilities, behind which I could hide my broken self-image.
This image was made up of insecurity, fears, hurts, rejection and scars all caused by my past. My own works of "self-righteousness" was powerless to change me – and even the strongest woman cannot power her way to healing.
In this place of grace, I came to know who I am and who I am not. All I wanted was more of Him in my life. I can, you can choose to sit at His feet daily while we exchange our "self life" for the "Christ life" and know Him better. He wants to free our hearts from the need to be perfect. Living a life of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit is a "faith journey" full of grace and truth. What my heart really needs is perfect love and there is only One who can give me perfect love. I was held captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy. All that taught me to do is depend on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. As I changed, everything around me began to change. Today, I am crazy in love with Jesus!
It is exhilarating to read God's Word and share a common bond with the early day disciples. When we develop joy in believing, this renews hope and promise. For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. 2Corinthians 1:20
God has since taken me from being a quitter in tough times and making me a woman of faith who fights the good faith fight standing on the Word of God until victory is experienced. Because of the life-changing combination of God’s faithfulness and my “no quit” attitude, my life and my marriage is totally different today.
Living by faith, is living in the love of God and getting His direction for our lives. We don't need a reason not to do something, rather we need a direction to do something. This may sound foreign to many, even church goers. My husband and I often talk about how important it is to be led by the Holy Spirit. It's something that is so vital and seems to be still so unknown to many. As it was for us for so many years. We grew up with a "church life" but we had no "God life." We need the Holy Spirit and Word.
As our faithful pastors say, "Even when we think we know, or have done the same type of thing many times, we should acknowledge Him by asking and checking for His guidance every time. We are not to be head led, feeling led, or led by fear because we have the 'true' witness within us. I am, you are, to be Spirit led, every hour, every day of the year." (Romans 8:14-16) God can be trusted! His faithfulness is outrageous!!
"The Lord God is MY STRENGTH, MY PERSONAL BRAVERY, and MY INVINCIBLE ARMY; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!" Habakkuk 3:19 (Amplified translation)